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#DatBikeLife

Welcome to NOLA.bike! We document a range of issues pertaining to the bicycle community in New Orleans.

Want To F@<% My Wife?

Want To F@<% My Wife?

Late nights on the pedicab can produce some very interesting situations. You at times encounter things that you don’t really want to share with others. This is one of those situations.

I picked up this sexy couple at Irenes when it was over on Charters and St. Philip. They asked me to take them on a scenic ride of the French Quarter and I was happy to oblige. We rode around for about an hour and a half with intervals of them going into a couple of bars to get drinks. 

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After about 2 hours they wanted to stop and get another drink. We found ourselves close to Lafitte’s Blacksmith Shop, so I pulled over on the curb across the street. It was kind of busy inside and they were in there for about 10 minutes. I decided to sit in the cab and scroll through Facebook while I was waiting. 

I looked up at my surroundings and I saw the male passenger approach me without his partner. He walked up to me and asked me a question that startled me. I’ll never forget it. He bluntly asked me, “Hey man…you want to f@<+ my wife?” As my mouth dropped it was like I lost my breath. I took a deep inhale and I felt like my breath was stuck and I couldn’t exhale.

The cat doesn’t catch my tongue easily but it clawed it and was holding it down. Once I took a deep breath and regained my composure I explained to him what Saturday night is for a pedicab driver. We work a bunch of slow shifts to insure that we get the Saturday night shift. As a way out I explained to him that it was busy and that it was a $500 night.

He said, “I’ll give you $700.”

As you can imagine, I had the shakes because I had never encountered anything like that before. He said the only catch was that he wanted to recored it. I was like man that’s weird! But his wife was hot and the money was enticing.

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Pedicab in front of  Hotel Monteleone

Pedicab in front of Hotel Monteleone

Next thing I knew I was on the third floor of the Hotel Monteleone becoming a porn star. She was so hot that I lasted only about 3 minutes. I collected the money. Kissed his wife good bye, on the lips, and called it an early night. 

I don’t watch porn, but from time to time I wonder if that video is somewhere out there on the internet. 

Fin

Darren Knox

Darren Knox

The Gamblers Blunder: Bike Commuting Downriver on Royal Street

The Gamblers Blunder: Bike Commuting Downriver on Royal Street